A Philosophy

All the kids watching cartoons knew that there was a theory of relativity. Not knowing precisely what that meant, I made up my own. Alone with my thoughts, I asked myself what made people happy. I decided it could not be material things alone, because it seemed more was never enough to buy happiness forever. People in caves had none of the material things we have, but were probably happy. Animals, mostly, seem happy. The key might be if their situation that day was a little better than their situation the day before. That was my theory of relativity. Happiness is relative to one's past.

The more I live and learn, the more confirmation I find. Times are better and people are happier in Cambodia now than while the country was under Pol Pot. Though missing limbs are common (from land mines), a friend told me he thought Cambodia had the happiest people in the world.

Many places without our material culture do well in happiness studies. Nicholas Kristof quotes a study that concludes Costa Rica is the happiest place on Earth. Thailand is noted for its happy people. A neighbor in California thought Botswana is a happy place, and moved there with his wife-- it was her home country. None of these places require the money that we are used to spending. Rooms can be found for less than ten dollars a day. I think these places are worth visiting, if only to go there and ponder, "If they are so happy, why not me?"

Certainly, there are reasons we can list why these places will not make us happy. Perhaps, the medical systems are not up to our standards, so our lives would be at risk. These places are away from family and friends. We might miss our things that we are accustomed to that made us happy at home. There might be beggars, bad food, crime, unfamiliar cultures, unfamiliar languages and who knows what other frustrations. People might be racist against us. These places with the happiest people on the planet might make us very sad. As we continue to think, the obvious comes to mind. Happiness is an intangible, a state of mind.

Can't Buy Me Love, the Beatles wrote. And in the the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. Certainly, love makes us happy. So, love is one thing to strive for. And, in addition to love, I think music makes me happy. Getting over lost love makes us happy, at least compared to the day before. I heard that sad country songs make us happy.

Having an unhappy childhood or an unhappy past career might make a person happy. Look back and be happy you don't have to put up with that life anymore!

And if certain things make me unhappy-- a job, a city, tedious tasks, a routine-- then my theory of relativity says changing things and not doing what makes me unhappy should make me happy. At least that is what I thought when I was nine years old.

Now, these are thoughts I have had most all of my life, so I think there are some natural corollaries. If other people are what make you happy, you have to work to make them happy. Worrying about yourself may or may not be enough. Money is a means to an end. Possessions are means to an end. Jobs are means to an end. Aside from the laws of the land, which one might as well accept, there is almost nothing that a person has to do. Impressing the neighbors? Probably, not a means to happiness. Impressing yourself? More likely. Most of the platitudes seem to still apply with my theory of relative happiness.

It is hard to write this, it is so ingrained in my thoughts and in my psyche. If I had a profound thought, I may not have written it. But, if you ever were curious about my long-standing ideas about happiness, you got the gist.